Violence against myself

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with some mates who are caught up in someway or another with the juvenile justice system. Most are making ways forward out of the lifestyle, due to the risk of going to prison. It is no longer just the detention centre.
Yesterdays’ gathering was initiated by two of the guys who had hoped that we could sit together and share our faith journeys together with some of their mates. They wanted ‘church’ in some form, in their form. I know that if they can hold tight God is going to use these two.

However, in the environment within which they live, I feel completely exhausted. It isn’t something that allows for peace and rest. The reason I think that I feel this exhaustion is because of the constant barrage of anger/abuse within the group. It is something that apparently comes with the lifestyle. If don’t hold your own your nothing within the group.

Standing against that anger is not something that I find easy. Holding back my anger when I see injustices is something that I do not find easy. Let alone when someone is waving arrogance as banner right in my face. Every part of me wants to cut to size just because I know I can.


Reading this article really threatens me; only because when I read:
“The minority of Christian churches (but as far as we can ascertain, all prior to Constantine) have instead embraced non-violence – a refusal to wage war or take up arms under any circumstances. This practice is based on a plain reading of the teachings of Jesus (especially Matthew 5:1-11 and 5:38-48, and on most of Paul's teaching – especially Romans 12:9-21).”
I know that it is right. I don’t know if others feel something twinge within them when they hear something that is true, but when I read that my heart sunk again, because I know I need to check my aggression, it’s not the way of Jesus.

Oh to be more like him…