The kids are watching...

Reflections of my day.

Innocence is born, not acquired.
It can't be bought with dollars.
There is no refund policy.
It never defaults back to what it should be.

Our words, our violence, our sexuality are the weather that corrode it.
Let them hold it, at least for a little.

Interesting periods of time....

This is me kicking off blogging again.

Our journey here in our little community has been really interesting. I'll speak for myself at least. I feel that I spent the first year of the last three really re-drawing the lines for me, cutting ties and setting the ship to sail on new uncharted waters. Then came year two, an equally challenging year, with plenty of forming and re-shaping, but with a lot more thinking that if things are to change than it is to be from me, or that I'm going to have to have my fingers in the pie, to initiate anything. Then comes now, and I feel that I'm standing on the brink of things that I can't touch or see, with my chest full of nervous knots, my mind and heart broken from love, my spirit alive and vibrant; holding in my hand something fragile and mystical, feeling altogether ship wrecked, yet semi-pieced together, and altogether sure of the perfectness of the road ahead.
I give thanks to the Great Spirit who has placed us on this journey with each other, not just the the 14 or so of us, but all of the people that have caused me to break again and again, from the grandmothers who want to see their children thrive, the silly young parents misguiding their children like puppets for kicks, to the kids who are trying to make sense of everything in and beyond their world. As if they are holding out candles in the dark, hoping for someone to hold and guide them. These are the people that have taught me love,grace and peace. The ones who have helped me see Gods heart and face, every time I open the door, I can't help but see something Godly. When Melody sends me to the door to say not now we need a break, I always come in with someone.
I have been pursued for a time now by the notion that God heals the sick... interesting topic, but not for now. I have also been re-awakened to the fact that to every action their is a re-action, and thus to all that has happened within our neighborhood, we are experiencing a lot of flack. I recently been seeing many spirits who have bought with them nothing but harm. I feel like I have had to re-step into old shoes to walk new roads, but this time the shoes seem to hold a bit more meaning, they make a little more sense, they fit more as they should. I am appreciative that He leaves things in our closet for later times, when they will all make sense.
I am so ever thankful for this journey. I am humbled by the opposition to it, I pray that we will never lose it, this way at least I will know that we are probably moving towards God.

Fat Preddy's Drop sum it up.

Learning to breathe again
for the first time
In so long now

Learning to see again
through my pride

Learning to speak again
from my heart

Learning to be a friend
for the first time
for the first time
in so long

Chaplaincy...

So my fairly recent role as a Chaplain has been an interesting turn of events. Hearing (from kids) fairly general parental opinions and thoughts around the chaplain and the role have been a great insight into some perceptions of the church and Christians.
Figuring out my role on the other hand has been somewhat difficult but it has changed the way I view our somewhat insignificant lives in Rocherlea. One of the school social workers described herself as someone living in the ambiguous grey world between structures/organisations and people. For the children at the school she lives between the school structures and their parents, and for the parents she lives between the school structures and Child and Family Services.
Now as a Chaplain I feel something of the same. I feel that I sit somewhere in the ambiguous grey between people and the Church and the Church and God. I probably don’t have all the answers or a lot of my ideologies right but I would like to think that as someone living quite happily in the grey, maybe I can be of some help to those who fall into the ambiguous with me, and I can help them find their way.

If this is all I learn from Chaplaincy, that’s ok. I have enjoyed being someone associated with the in-betweens, maybe it’s not always healthy to live here, but for now I’ll embrace the ambiguous greyness of here.

Re-capping

Thought I’d pull this from the deep. A good friend left a beautiful comment ages ago. We had been discussing the Kingdom of God and where it is, how we interact with it and what it looks like. It makes me think ask the question again. It is probably a very helpful question to be constantly asking. For me Josh nailed it in so many ways, and I wish I was this in tune!

“I thought I’d reply to your question regarding the kingdom. We spoke about it some time ago and I wanted to reply.

What is the kingdom, I arsked myself…

Already mentioned, I feel that kingdom is a journey of continual discovery … that the kingdom, or the feeling of it, has always been there, but it is only on your life journey that you discover things, experiences both large and small, that bring you closer to recognising it.

So what is kingdom? Sharing, family, friendship, love, faith, togetherness, unity. Working together to achieve a common goal. Community. Where does Mr. Allmighty fit into the picture? Accepting us and loving us unconditionally, regardless of creed, colour, gender or speech impediments, encouraging us through love to be able to love and accept ourselves and each other, no matter what.

After a recent death in my family, I felt that I needed to rethink the concept of the Kingdom. For me, what helped me and kept me strong through this journey was the support Mr. Allmighty and the incredible love of my family. Family is number one.

In sum, Kingdom:

Looks like… Flowers in full bloom in City Park.

Feels like… A group hug with the people most important to you.

Tastes like…A barbecue in Summer, just before the sun is going down.

Sounds like... ‘Daystar’, by former Tea Party front man Jeff Martin:

I am surrounded by a light that shines
In your eyes, I see my soul’s reprise
There’s so many things I need to tell you
There’s so many things I need to show you
That could take a while

I’ve seen daylight rising like a dove
The edges of twilight in the skies above
But nothing compares with what you gave me
I didn’t know that you could save me now
You knew all along

Smells like…Roses in spring.


Cheers,

Josh M”

Thanks Joshy whereever you are!

things change before your eyes.

Well practically a year has passed, it seems like I’ve been standing still, yet it seems like the ground has moved under my feet (thanks Carol King :) you never know when the 80's will come in handy!)

I've been thinking a lot about faith lately and trying to make sense of my own. I recently had a conversation which sparked a train of thought. Religions are thing that are built of rituals and symbols; all too often (well for myself) the symbols and rituals overtake my faith, I wonder; if I were to choose symbols and rituals for myself, would they make a difference to my faith.

I wondered for a long time if that would be wrong.(to pick and choose and build something that suits me...)However I feel that I am not choosing parts of different faiths instead I'm simply choosing practices, I guess it's finding a way to touch God.

Now here is my drama. That is a fairly linear process (for lack of a better word)but the world in which we live isn't, and when a choice has been made to live alongside others and have a similar orientation does that 'orientation' include symbols and rituals?

It’s my birthday. (Thanks Rory he is 10)

well well well...

Gez I thought a month was a long time since blogging. This has been probably one of the strangest periods of my life... possibly.
Mel and I have found ourselves in a strange place spiritually. Our uneasy feeling was partly given voice by a beautiful book called; "The Education of Little Tree." It was truely wonderful. A simple story about a small cherokee boy who at 5 goes and lives with his Cherokee grandparents. It spoke to me about a spirituality that I long to have, one that is grounded, engaged and active with the cyclic world that God placed me within. In this though a new journey has started in finding 'religious' actions which lead us towards God and others. A journey that I hope to come from the very depths of me. One that I don't want to start, but one that I'm keen to kick off.
It is interesting what consumes me though, Even though my pursuit is for God, anger and work and general life gets well in the way, the fight for God continues to get drowned out by busy tasks.
ahhhh - not going to proof read just post this sucka it's time to go shopping and I'm running late.

The Wallabies destroyed... I don't understand?

Two big upsets in one weekend... Australia and the All Blacks. I guess this is where I have to cross my fingers and hope the best for the Pumas.
It's a sad way to end the world cup.