Josh, Mel and random others

scarred up again among other things

2009-08-24T20:39:00.006+10:00

I was quite excited about getting scarred up,it was not half as painful as I last remember it, this one is for my youngest son Iseyah Taal, it is a tree which for me is a symbol of life, peace and strength. I hope these things can also be harbored in me, something of the gentle revolution.

I have a feeling tonight, that I struggled to put words to. Leunig slapped me in the face with an oversimplified vague prayer "I hope everything will be okay." Not that these vague words do justice to the knot in my stomach, but they just seemed right, to fit in an awkward kind of way. I need to just leave them there.

I'm not sure what the 'everything' is and I'm not sure what I expect 'okay' to look like, but the vagueness of it feels warm, I feel happy to sit with the vague tonight, to sit with a hope that the Great Spirit, knows exactly what the 'everything' and 'okay' is.

Leunig finished with this,
"True hope does not come in the form of some new invention to solve our problems, it's an antibody which emerges in us when we are infected with a a despair born of threat. Like resistance, hope chooses it's moment to appear, and when it emerges within us we see life afresh - and from a humbler place. Then we understand what matters and then we know what we must do."

God I put my hope in you, and I trust you even though I can't measure or order, or place a formula on life or you, teach me to embrace vagueness,suffering, joy and hope where ever they may be. And to be able to just be still in it.
Amen

This dam Pulpmill!!!!!!

2009-07-24T19:15:00.002+10:00

I received this email today, it makes me so angry that the messages that are been delivered to us can be this conveluded. please follow the links and have your say.

It's crunch time for the Gunns pulp mill, desperate to find investors. In no small part due to your efforts, Gunns have to go to great lengths to secure finance. That's why they've enlisted some high-level help to spread their misinformation:
"Construction of the mill and flow-on investment would create some 8,000 direct and indirect jobs spread across the trades and other areas. Another 1,500 jobs would be created during operation." - Ministerial Statement by The Hon Tony Burke MP, 20091
"Construction of the Pulp Mill and flow-on investment will create some 8000 direct and indirect jobs spread across the trades and other areas. A further 1500 to 1600 additional direct and indirect jobs will be created during the Pulp Mill’s operation." - Gunns statement, 20082
It's strange enough for a publicly-elected official to do PR on behalf of a private company, but it's plain inappropriate to lift it word-for-word from company propaganda - especially when the claims themselves are bogus.

The Minister's statement was intended to be heard by potential investors around the world as a sign of government support for the environmentally and economically damaging project, at a time when that support is hugely influential for investors making a decision.

Can you tell Tony Burke to make a statement on our behalf, not Gunns'? Click here to ask him to set the record straight:

www.getup.org.au/campaign/SetTheRecordStraight

Tony Burke's not just the Forestry Minister, he's also the Minister for Agriculture and Fisheries - industries where the pulp mill is predicted to cause over 1200 job losses. The source he quotes of 8000 jobs is five years old, and has since been massively discredited. Gunns themselves are now only claiming 292 direct jobs will be created.

His other claims also don't hold up to scrutiny. That's why it's so important he sends the right signal, right now, to potential investors overseas.

Together we've campaigned to ensure the vast majority of firms in Australia and overseas won't go anywhere near Gunns' pulp mill project. With only a small number of potential investors left, we need to ensure Gunns are not able to use Tony Burke's statement as a source of security for their investment.

Ask Tony Burke to set the record straight, before potential financiers make their final decision:

www.getup.org.au/campaign/SetTheRecordStraight

We can't fall at the last hurdle - we need to let the government know the pulp mill, and it's propaganda, is unacceptable.

That's why the most important thing we can do right now is make the government speak on our behalf not Gunns', and set the record straight on the pulp mill.

Thanks for being a part of the solution,
The GetUp team

PS - Gunns are desperate to convince the few remaining potential investors their unviable pulp mill project will go ahead - just this week they've announced land-clearing work will soon begin on a pipeline to feed the mill, in an attempt to shore up finance. We need the Government to distance themselves from this project now, as investors look for clues as to what level of support the pulp mill can expect in Australia.

Other statements lifted from Gunns propaganda:

"The mill will add an estimated $6.7 billion to Tasmania’s economy." - The Hon Tony Burke MP
"The project will add around $6.7 billion, or 2.5 per cent to the Tasmanian economy." - Gunns
(The National Institute of Economic and Industry Research actually found the most likely impact on the Tasmanian economy over 20 years would be negative $0.3 billion)

"At up to $2 billion in capital expenditure, the mill would be the largest ever private sector investment in Tasmania, and the largest ever by Australia’s forest industry." - The Hon Tony Burke MP
"At around $1.5 billion in capital expenditure, the proposed mill will be the largest ever investment by the private sector in Tasmania, and the largest ever by the forestry sector in Australia." - Gunns

Sources:
1 The Hon Tony Burke, MP “Ministerial Statement by the Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry: Preparing our forest industries for the future”, 24 June 2009
http://www.maff.gov.au/transcripts/transcripts/2009/june/preparing_our_forest_industries_for_the_future
2 Gunns Ltd. “Bell Bay Pulp MIll: Environmental, Economic and Social update” September 2008
http://www.gunnspulpmill.com.au/factsheets/Facts_Update_Sep.pdf

The kids are watching...

2009-04-24T21:39:00.002+10:00

Reflections of my day.

Innocence is born, not acquired.
It can't be bought with dollars.
There is no refund policy.
It never defaults back to what it should be.

Our words, our violence, our sexuality are the weather that corrode it.
Let them hold it, at least for a little.

Interesting periods of time....

2009-04-14T22:42:00.003+10:00

This is me kicking off blogging again.

Our journey here in our little community has been really interesting. I'll speak for myself at least. I feel that I spent the first year of the last three really re-drawing the lines for me, cutting ties and setting the ship to sail on new uncharted waters. Then came year two, an equally challenging year, with plenty of forming and re-shaping, but with a lot more thinking that if things are to change than it is to be from me, or that I'm going to have to have my fingers in the pie, to initiate anything. Then comes now, and I feel that I'm standing on the brink of things that I can't touch or see, with my chest full of nervous knots, my mind and heart broken from love, my spirit alive and vibrant; holding in my hand something fragile and mystical, feeling altogether ship wrecked, yet semi-pieced together, and altogether sure of the perfectness of the road ahead.
I give thanks to the Great Spirit who has placed us on this journey with each other, not just the the 14 or so of us, but all of the people that have caused me to break again and again, from the grandmothers who want to see their children thrive, the silly young parents misguiding their children like puppets for kicks, to the kids who are trying to make sense of everything in and beyond their world. As if they are holding out candles in the dark, hoping for someone to hold and guide them. These are the people that have taught me love,grace and peace. The ones who have helped me see Gods heart and face, every time I open the door, I can't help but see something Godly. When Melody sends me to the door to say not now we need a break, I always come in with someone.
I have been pursued for a time now by the notion that God heals the sick... interesting topic, but not for now. I have also been re-awakened to the fact that to every action their is a re-action, and thus to all that has happened within our neighborhood, we are experiencing a lot of flack. I recently been seeing many spirits who have bought with them nothing but harm. I feel like I have had to re-step into old shoes to walk new roads, but this time the shoes seem to hold a bit more meaning, they make a little more sense, they fit more as they should. I am appreciative that He leaves things in our closet for later times, when they will all make sense.
I am so ever thankful for this journey. I am humbled by the opposition to it, I pray that we will never lose it, this way at least I will know that we are probably moving towards God.

Fat Preddy's Drop sum it up.

Learning to breathe again
for the first time
In so long now

Learning to see again
through my pride

Learning to speak again
from my heart

Learning to be a friend
for the first time
for the first time
in so long

Chaplaincy...

2008-10-21T09:29:00.003+11:00

So my fairly recent role as a Chaplain has been an interesting turn of events. Hearing (from kids) fairly general parental opinions and thoughts around the chaplain and the role have been a great insight into some perceptions of the church and Christians.
Figuring out my role on the other hand has been somewhat difficult but it has changed the way I view our somewhat insignificant lives in Rocherlea. One of the school social workers described herself as someone living in the ambiguous grey world between structures/organisations and people. For the children at the school she lives between the school structures and their parents, and for the parents she lives between the school structures and Child and Family Services.
Now as a Chaplain I feel something of the same. I feel that I sit somewhere in the ambiguous grey between people and the Church and the Church and God. I probably don’t have all the answers or a lot of my ideologies right but I would like to think that as someone living quite happily in the grey, maybe I can be of some help to those who fall into the ambiguous with me, and I can help them find their way.

If this is all I learn from Chaplaincy, that’s ok. I have enjoyed being someone associated with the in-betweens, maybe it’s not always healthy to live here, but for now I’ll embrace the ambiguous greyness of here.

Re-capping

2008-08-13T09:51:00.000+10:00

Thought I’d pull this from the deep. A good friend left a beautiful comment ages ago. We had been discussing the Kingdom of God and where it is, how we interact with it and what it looks like. It makes me think ask the question again. It is probably a very helpful question to be constantly asking. For me Josh nailed it in so many ways, and I wish I was this in tune!

“I thought I’d reply to your question regarding the kingdom. We spoke about it some time ago and I wanted to reply.

What is the kingdom, I arsked myself…

Already mentioned, I feel that kingdom is a journey of continual discovery … that the kingdom, or the feeling of it, has always been there, but it is only on your life journey that you discover things, experiences both large and small, that bring you closer to recognising it.

So what is kingdom? Sharing, family, friendship, love, faith, togetherness, unity. Working together to achieve a common goal. Community. Where does Mr. Allmighty fit into the picture? Accepting us and loving us unconditionally, regardless of creed, colour, gender or speech impediments, encouraging us through love to be able to love and accept ourselves and each other, no matter what.

After a recent death in my family, I felt that I needed to rethink the concept of the Kingdom. For me, what helped me and kept me strong through this journey was the support Mr. Allmighty and the incredible love of my family. Family is number one.

In sum, Kingdom:

Looks like… Flowers in full bloom in City Park.

Feels like… A group hug with the people most important to you.

Tastes like…A barbecue in Summer, just before the sun is going down.

Sounds like... ‘Daystar’, by former Tea Party front man Jeff Martin:

I am surrounded by a light that shines
In your eyes, I see my soul’s reprise
There’s so many things I need to tell you
There’s so many things I need to show you
That could take a while

I’ve seen daylight rising like a dove
The edges of twilight in the skies above
But nothing compares with what you gave me
I didn’t know that you could save me now
You knew all along

Smells like…Roses in spring.

Cheers,

Josh M”

Thanks Joshy whereever you are!

things change before your eyes.

2008-08-05T16:26:00.003+10:00

Well practically a year has passed, it seems like I’ve been standing still, yet it seems like the ground has moved under my feet (thanks Carol King :) you never know when the 80's will come in handy!)

I've been thinking a lot about faith lately and trying to make sense of my own. I recently had a conversation which sparked a train of thought. Religions are thing that are built of rituals and symbols; all too often (well for myself) the symbols and rituals overtake my faith, I wonder; if I were to choose symbols and rituals for myself, would they make a difference to my faith.

I wondered for a long time if that would be wrong.(to pick and choose and build something that suits me...)However I feel that I am not choosing parts of different faiths instead I'm simply choosing practices, I guess it's finding a way to touch God.

Now here is my drama. That is a fairly linear process (for lack of a better word)but the world in which we live isn't, and when a choice has been made to live alongside others and have a similar orientation does that 'orientation' include symbols and rituals?

It’s my birthday. (Thanks Rory he is 10)

well well well...

2007-11-07T22:18:00.000+11:00

Gez I thought a month was a long time since blogging. This has been probably one of the strangest periods of my life... possibly.
Mel and I have found ourselves in a strange place spiritually. Our uneasy feeling was partly given voice by a beautiful book called; "The Education of Little Tree." It was truely wonderful. A simple story about a small cherokee boy who at 5 goes and lives with his Cherokee grandparents. It spoke to me about a spirituality that I long to have, one that is grounded, engaged and active with the cyclic world that God placed me within. In this though a new journey has started in finding 'religious' actions which lead us towards God and others. A journey that I hope to come from the very depths of me. One that I don't want to start, but one that I'm keen to kick off.
It is interesting what consumes me though, Even though my pursuit is for God, anger and work and general life gets well in the way, the fight for God continues to get drowned out by busy tasks.
ahhhh - not going to proof read just post this sucka it's time to go shopping and I'm running late.

The Wallabies destroyed... I don't understand?

2007-10-08T16:11:00.000+11:00

Two big upsets in one weekend... Australia and the All Blacks. I guess this is where I have to cross my fingers and hope the best for the Pumas.
It's a sad way to end the world cup.

wow a whole month and no blogging!!

2007-09-05T09:23:00.000+10:00

What a month!
I'm going to make a list of everything that’s happened just to sort me out:
- I quit my job (only 9 days until the official end)
- I started another job, which has been great!
- Mel and I have started to implement a 24-hour period of rest. (We have had one, which we thoroughly enjoyed)
- We went dumpster diving and got HEAPS!
- Our neighbour finally had the operation that she has been waiting on for the last 5 months!
- Her son spent a week with us while she was recovering.
- I started (with the help of others) digging up the foundations for an outdoor area. I'm so soft!
- A young boy has been making a conscious effort to not hurt people.
- Aaron and I distilled my apple cider! Man that stuff will blow your socks off!
- I'm about to click over another year (23).
- I ate and wattle grub.
- A mum has been able to let her son leave her sight, know that he is safe and enjoy a little space to her self.
- Our friend was cleared from the doctors from having blood clots!
- I'm supposed to start running a couple of nights a week with some blokes from down the road. (I’m not sure what I’ve signed up for yet.
- I've done 15000 kms on my bike (I thought I’d have a new one by know ;) haha all dreams!)
- We met the mother of two of the girls who frequent our house.
- Chay is now 5 months old.
- We need to figure out either how to keep Fran (our dog) in our fence, or find a place that would be more suitable for her. She has too much energy! 
- Our neighbours returned safely from a 3-month 4WD trip.
- A young girl experienced not seeing anger or violence levelled at her (or anyone else) for an accident.
- I planted my corn, lettuces, radishes, snow peas, silver beat, and onion.

I'm sure there’s been more but that’s where I’m up to.
Mel and I have had a significant month in terms of our spirituality as well. Nothing cemented but I think there would be a measure of concern if it we cemented. It's been a pleasure just living actually, not that it's been easy, but it's enjoyable to look back and see the Spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance) in things. Life is a funny thing with plenty of stories to be told, and lives shared. I sometimes feel sad when I can enjoy it when there are lots very close to me who are hurting. I will keep working though to see peace restored in broken lives and families around us.
Maybe this is a good thing to do every month.

Another poem

2007-07-27T11:26:00.000+10:00

Repetition is funny thing,
Kind of like the tide, it will be back,
I will be back again in the same shoes, same desk, same headspace.
Ahhh
Sighs of boredom? Of complaint? Left without translation, just sighs.
That could mean anything…
Pain, loneliness, arrogance, displeasure, happiness.
I wonder if the world will end with a sigh. No great explosions, No war, just a sigh

The questions in my head swirl.
People talk about purpose and drive, as if it is always that easy.
I wonder if displacing an answer takes our responsibility away from asking it.
Find what drives you… blah blah blah
Sometimes I am those people
I wonder if it is safe to be honest to myself.
How do I quell this mutiny of the self?
Like a weathered Captain of old, I will smile at the storm as my ship sinks…
Maybe there is a better way

Old questions with the same answers
A sigh…
Not of relief, just a sigh, that could mean anything…
Oh, to have a new response, a new way forward, they would be like new shoes
Uncomfortable at first but they will become as old friends.
Throwing the net of questions far, yet pulling in nought
With hope and vigour, I cast the net, and with renewed enthusiasm, I pull it in,
Left only with exhaustion at my naked catch

Repetition is a funny thing.

Democracy…

2007-07-06T16:04:00.000+10:00

I have no answers or comments, I feel so disappointed and let down by the west’s golden calf (democracy).

read here

I received an email from a friend who put it well:

I feel Tasmania has been completely done over by Gunns (with support from the Lennon Govt). How is such poor development, such brazen corruption, such poor process, such greedy behaviour, such disregard for democracy, such poor stewardship of the earth allowed to persist? It is hard not to lose heart. I'm guessing that the powerlessness that we feel is just a taste of what millions of people in developing communities experience when they are subject to the whims of greedy developers.

Our democracy is unfortunately defunct. Our democracy allows private investors to fund political parties, therefore leaving us with a dictatorship, rather than the former. Both sides of the Political fence (liberal and labour) and many other public voices throughout the north of Tasmania have been bought, and coloured with the same political brush. Many others who dare to speak have found themselves on the end of law suits filed against them.

I feel crushed upon this news.

A story - from "Lines in the Sand"

2007-06-14T12:26:00.000+10:00

The Singer and the Song

Once in the service of the High King of Elb, there was a musician named Lark. He could play the plekta till its three strings rang like thirty. He could blow the tenor netto till it wailed like a woman in labor. And when he sang, his voice was so pure, it was said that he spoke a hundred truths in a single breath.

Everyone loved Lark, but none more than the young prince of Elb. Whenever he heard Lark sing, the prince would put his small hand in the musician's, look up at him and say, "Oh Lark, you are the fairest and the truest of all the men in my Father's kingdom."

On hearing that, Lark would squat down on his heels so that he could look the boy right in the eye.
"Do not confuse the singer with the song, my prince,"
he would say.

The Prince did not believe him, of course. Princes believe what they will. But many years later, on the day the poor folk of the land rose up against the High King, Lark made a song for their victory. In it he rhymed 'tyrant' in a dozen different ways, which one could in the old tongue.
"I thought you were true," whispered the prince to Lark, when they took the entire royal family out of the dungeon to be hanged.
"I thought you were the fairest in the kingdom," the prince said as the rope was put around his neck.

But Lark did not answer. He only smiled at the prince. For he had never confused the king with the crown, the rope with justice, or the singer with the song.

Cleaning up

2007-06-05T10:10:00.000+10:00

Spent 10min this morning cleaning up my desktop. I came accross one of my poems written a while back, and some great Nizlopi lyrics. I thought I would share both as they seem to fit my current mood.

A Mixture of two days
People looked tired today
Working the 9-5
Or is the 9-5 working them?
The veneer is more thin than many would believe

Hopeful dreams
Desperate tears
Of days that embrace purpose, cause
Of a reason to get up

Self medicated
Self taught
Self-help
Self-sufficient

No need for a ear
No need for a elder
No need for an expert
No need for anyone

Homage To Young Men Lyric by Luke Concannon
Verses Alastair McIntosh
Chorus Luke Concannon
Music John Parker

I want to talk to the young men out there. It’s for the women too, but especially the men, cos it’s tough to be a young man in this world. You have to face so much heartbreak and loss. In love and career and life. It’s easy to forget the meaning and give up. To burn up or sell out to addictions, despair or greed. Easy to forget that life’s a journey with a beginning, a middle and an end. It’s about navigating the future, your future. It’s about learning to become a man who’s real, and able to love.

Chorus:
Are you waiting for me? Are your hands down in the dirt? We belong together. I’ve been longing since my birth to be arms around you to be true to who we are, to let all our pain out to be playing in your heart.

So let’s talk about the first stage of life. The departure, when your boat is pushed out on the river. Most of who you are is still your small self. The you your family has made you, your schooling and your friends. You’ve still not found your deep self, your Great Self, cos that’s what the journey’s for. So you set out, full of hope, but with a heavy load. All the baggage of your upbringing. All the love, yes, but the fuckedupness too. Maybe the absent father, or the smothering mother, or the cold indifference of those around you. It’s no wonder you’ve a rough ride coming. It’s gonna get tough and it’s got to. So you can find yourself. So you can become a real man.

Chorus

And that’s when you hit the second stage of life. The initiation in the rapids and the storms. That’s when you find the pain of brokenheartedness. Love affairs that fail, failures in career and all your hopes for what the world might have been. Plenty young men founder grazed on such jagged rocks as these. Bruised and angry in a storm of violence towards self and others. But it doesn’t have to stay like that. No, my friends, not if you push on and open to the inner grace that will bring you courage. The courage to face reality as it is, without lies. The courage to know your wound but to insist on beauty and outgrow it. The courage to open your heart, to hold fast to truth, and to stand each step in your dignity.

Chorus

And that’s the courage that brings your boat to the third stage of life. To see how your small self is held in a greater Self. And that you’re fit to be an elder in your community, able to share the gifts and the blessings. Able to support and inspire what gives life among your people. And to love your beloved; to love and be loved by the Beloved no less, my friends. Because we’re talking here of love in all its meanings. And you can only love with a deepening heart. And that is why you had to grow courage on this journey to the ocean. That’s what your battle wounds on the field of life were all about. That, my dear friends, is what qualifies you to be a man in your community. Capable of loving and able to be loved…. Capable of loving and able to be loved…. Capable of loving and able to be loved

nizlopi

thoughts and musings

2007-05-25T15:52:00.000+10:00

I think I’m losing the plot (Allan you’ve been asking this question for quite some time). Something has gone wrong, and I think I know what it is, but I don’t know how to make all things spin again.
I’ve had enough of taking part of this theatrical interpretation of life. I need something solid here.
I can’t watch anymore as people attempt to re-enact the lives of other so-called celebrities.
I can’t watch anymore as people play with the spirituality or religion like it is the left overs of meal that no-one really wanted to eat in the first place.
I can’t watch anymore as people pour upon their bodies the troubles of this world.
I desperately want to turn my head and refocus on making myself feel something of okness, and pretend that if I shut my eyes all this hell will go away.

Somewhere near here I should hit the bottom, maybe from the bottom I can find a way up. Maybe at the bottom I won’t have to worry anymore about the stability of my self built false floor. I have found myself hoping for the bottom, maybe from there I can refocus on the pin-point of light at the top again, and rediscover my ‘why’ then I pray that it will make sense in my head again. Maybe the bottom won’t be anything like I expect, maybe the bottom will be the actual top… and the seeming top be the actual bottom. Maybe I’m closer to discovering how to engage with God in a new way than I think, or maybe I’m closer to seeing more clearly why it is that I can’t seem to get anywhere.

Maybe I’m depressed, or burnt out, I believe that I’m a little of both. For some reason it feels ok. Possibly, as I wait for the morning sun to rise I will understand a little more than I already do.

For all you Cockroaches this is for you!!

2007-05-23T09:10:00.000+10:00

As a Queenslander I would just like to remind all those New South Welshman out there about who won last year and would just like to suggest a probably outcome for the game tonight?...
Here's the line up: There is a few changes that I would make, but still it's looks pretty good:

1. Karmichael HUNT (Brisbane Broncos)
2. Brent TATE (Brisbane Broncos)
3. Steven BELL (Manly Sea Eagles)
4. Justin HODGES (Brisbane Broncos)
5. Greg INGLIS (Melbourne Storm)
6. Darren LOCKYER (c) (Brisbane Broncos)
7. Johnathan THURSTON (North QLD Cowboys)
8. Steve PRICE (New Zealand Warriors)
9. Cameron SMITH (Melbourne Storm)
10. Petero CIVONICEVA (Brisbane Broncos)
11. Tonie CARROLL (Brisbane Broncos)
12. Carl WEBB (North QLD Cowboys)
13. Dallas JOHNSON (Melbourne Storm)

14. Shaun BERRIGAN (Brisbane Broncos)
15. Jacob LILLYMAN (North QLD Cowboys)
16. Nate MYLES (Sydney Roosters)
17. Neville COSTIGAN (Canberra Raiders)

I would get rid of Civoniceva (because he's USELESS, and somehow impresses the selectors every year) and bring back from retirement Trevor 'the axe' Gillmeister, no actually I think Mal should step out of the coaching role and make a comeback, anyone will do, just get Civoniceva off the ground!

All in all it should be a good game (even with Civoniceva casually strolling around the battlefield. This is just a drop in the bucket compared to the enormity of the Bleddislow Cup (Australia V New Zealand) June 30th. Rugby Union is by far the better game. But tonight Rugby League will do.

In closing I will leave a picture of the 06 QLD team and highlight the strangely beautiful man Holding the Shield, more commonly known as Darren Lockyer. For all those who watched last years game, you will remember what this dream boat did to the opposition. He may be getting old, but unlike 'The Axe' he blatantly refuses to move into a nursing home. Tonight at 7:30 you will see him gracing the field, (possibly with a walker or even one of those little gofer things you see the oldies going to the shop in, but he'll be there!

Go the Maroons!

Kids

2007-05-18T16:36:00.000+10:00

Mel and I have had kids from around Rocherlea hanging out at our house, pretty much everyday for the last 3 months. It’s been amazing to meet all these little characters. It’s also been amazing to see them in their social settings and the values and attitudes that they come with. At first, they were hectic and over powering generally, but this week when Mel was in hospital with Chay, the two nights I was home alone it was amazing how much I missed their company and energy. They may just be kids, but it has me wondering about what Jesus meant when he said about us having to become like a child before we can enter the kingdom of God.

Yesterday I got home from work and Mel told me a story about her day, which involved the one of the kids specifically. Melody was about to walk up to the shop to get milk, and the kids were going to go with her. As she just got out the front door, she checked to see if she had enough $’s, as it turned out, she was a little short. On the announcement of going to the shop, one of the boys declared that he had $6 and was making a list of things that he was going to buy for himself. However, upon discovering that Mel did not have enough, he offered that he would give Mel the money that she needed to get the milk.

The rest of the story is irrelevant, but it got me to wondering again, about what Jesus meant when he said that we had to become like a child before we could enter His Kingdom. Moreover, here on my doorstep a 9-year-old boy shows me something of sharing valuable things with friends. A 9 year old having $6 is a significant thing. A 22 year old having $6 is nothing, however sometimes I am unprepared to part with small amounts for the sake of someone else; let alone part with something that is significant to me.

I wonder what else these (at first annoying) kids have to teach me about God.

Pop culture poisons my soul…

2007-05-11T11:26:00.000+10:00

I’ve been reflecting on what it really means follow Jesus and to be incarnational.
Though it’s true that Jesus became “one of us” and identified himself with most human experiences, He did not submit to the popular culture of His day. When I choose to live “missionally” in the community I live in, it’s not much a matter of becoming like the people around me in their values and lifestyle choices. Rather it’s a matter of living generously, freely and lovingly alongside people. Others don’t grow from simply seeing a mirror image of themselves, rather they grow through having a listening ear, genuine compassion and kindness. My life is a human life. Full of ups and downs, fears and dreams, mundane and amazing.

I find myself consistently poisoned by subconsciously believing & following pop culture.
Though I’ve never considered myself beautiful and often craved beauty in the popular sense, it has never been as much a struggle for me as now that my body is stretched and “marred” by experience, by use. Why do I struggle to view these scars as beautiful? It’s because I buy into the belief that outer “perfection” brings happiness. I buy into the belief that my husband needs a picture perfect model to make love to; that I need to smell like Paris Hilton rather than baby powder; that I should turn heads in the street.

I’ve been meditating on a phrase that John the Baptist said about Jesus:
“He must become greater & greater, I must become less & less.”
At the heart of popular culture is the opposite “I must become greater & greater, others must become less & less.” Maybe we cringe at the statement, but how often do our lives reflect the second phrase, not the first?

When I seek first my own happiness, happiness eludes me.
Maybe that’s why God said “seek first My kingdom”. It’s an upside down kingdom that elevates the innocent, inexperienced, poor, wretched, humble and despised.

As I thought about this I was shocked by how much western Christianity often reflects popular culture more than Christ. Oh it’s thinly veiled by pious words… “delight yourself in the Lord”…. IN ORDER TO GET “the desires of your heart”. When we reflect on how much Jesus “loves us & wants the best for us” at the expense of the other things that He said, we’re simply putting a fish sticker on a million dollar Mercedes. Jesus said “woe to the rich”. Yet we think Rich? Yeah – you’re going down Tom Cruise and forget that Jesus was speaking to people whose riches paled in comparison to ours.

Another curse of pop culture I think is choice. We can choose who we talk to, who we ignore, what job we do, whether we drive, ride or walk. We can choose to change partners every few years, upgrade our possessions regularly, travel to new countries.
Why I think it’s a curse is because we’ve forgotten the value of endurance, faithfulness, simplicity. A little while back Josh & I watched a simple movie about a Mongolian family… people who still live in tents, still raise what they need to live on, whose circle of influence extends as far as their family & a small community of people. Are they any less valuable in God’s sight? Are their achievements any less than ours?
I’ve been meditating on the often used expression “when Jesus was on the cross He had my face in His mind”. Slowly I’ve begun to question that. Where does it indicate this? Yes it’s true that Jesus is God & God is powerful enough to think of and maintain all the billions of human beings at all times. Yes it’s true that God has a deep love for each of His created beings. Yes it’s true that Jesus’ life, death & resurrection free us from being under a curse of not knowing God’s love. But was Jesus focused on ME as He died? Do any of the few words He spoke show that? He was still human, still focused on those around him, those who crucified him, his mother and His Father that He committed His Spirit to.

Perhaps we like to imagine Jesus’ final thoughts being about us as an individual. But considering the communal nature of God I find it far more likely that His thoughts weren’t about how great Melody’s life will be if I do this. Perhaps we need to explore further the fact that God loved the WORLD so much that he gave His only Son and spend less time substituting our own name in every verse that promises God’s love.

I know that the first to speak often sounds right until someone else offers another view. So putting these thoughts on a blog opens me up, in humility, to the thoughts of others.
Mel

Pick of the Litter!

2007-05-07T16:46:00.000+10:00

Sometimes I wonder about how I got to where I am spiritually etc, I look back and am marveled at just how much God has placed before me and the relationships that I am honored to be apart of.

But there are days like this one, when I meet my match. Admittedly I should never have even entertained the thought as there is no way we could afford it, but I took for a test ride an Aprila RSV Tuono-R 1000 (It may be an 03 model but I dare not fall in love with its 07 counter-part). This V-Twin behemoth took my breath away, with its low down toque, and beautiful song (it would make the best church choir/band, look like common hacks!), it has replaced the Honda VTR Firestorm as my favorite bike. I could feel my arms throbbing even after I got home. Ahhh what a bike, many people consider Italians to be very arrogant, but when some little Italian man is designing bikes like that; than as far as I’m concerned, they are allowed to be arrogant.

Its days like these that I wonder why it is that I steer very hard away from the image of God who is the giver of the things that I want. The whole, go and proclaim it to be yours and you will get what ever you want. Because if I believed it even just a little, I would be down there praying my butt off right now! I don’t think that many (urbs/Dad excluded) who occasionally read my blog really appreciate the enormity of this, but trust me if you were into bikes you would get it. ;)

Ahh I’m sure God has got a better road for me to be on. Today I wish that I was on the road with my Aprila, but I guess it’s just not to be.

Not my will, but yours be done.

Poem of the day

2007-05-03T16:45:00.000+10:00

Days… Just trapped in my head stuck in between, wanting something better and wanting to change and staying the same.
Stuck feeling increasingly indecisive, confused and stubborn
Itching to change, but feeling that I should consolidate
Wanting stability, craving for spontaneity
Needing space to be alone, feeling afraid of my self.
Wanting God, concerned about what he might say
Praying for rain, hanging out for a ray of hope
Maybe I should just sleep…
Maybe I should stop running from myself
Maybe I should listen to God?

Spirituality???

2007-05-01T10:16:00.000+10:00

The spiritual life is hard work and anything less than that is a distortion. (Eugene Peterson)

I have been thinking a fair bit about the Spiritual journey that Mel and I are on. My Dad the other night had just come back from a Spiritual retreat that was run by a local Catholic Spirituality centre, and has been receiving Spiritual Direction from an Old Catholic nun. She made a comment to him that has really made me stop and think. She said to my Dad that “Protestants know the word of God, but the true Catholics know the God of the Word.” At first I thought yeah that’s good, I would like to know both a lot better and find a balance between the two. I got to thinking though about my vague fear of other Spiritual people. I’m talking about Spiritual people that are into the whole New Age movement. Some of these people have a sense of spirituality that puts most, if not all Christians/disciples of Jesus to shame.
Then the old nun’s statement made sense. Maybe my fear of their spirituality is due to my own lack of Spirituality and connection with the one true God; and is due to me fearing that my theology won’t stand up to their spirituality.
So maybe if I was a far more Spiritual person, and not only knew the Word of God, but also knew the God of the Word, the fear would be reduced.

I would like to know God like some of the old boys of the bible, the Peters and David’s, and non-biblical like the Mother Theresa’s and those kinda characters. I think that link between theology and action has a massive part to play in Spirituality. I don’t know, it’s something worth exploring.

I spoke at a youth holiday camp leadership thing they had for their youth leaders, anyhow, I got an email from one of the people who was in my workshop. I chose some of his choice questions/statement that seems to always pop up in my life. It made me aware again of our general lack of Spirituality, (using the nun’s statement as a measuring stick) His statements were:

“The whole idea behind a Love that has no conditions, no requirements or demands, is such a powerful thing, but something that is so terrifyingly difficult it almost makes me stop and wonder whether I am truly a Christian at all. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was very inspired and motivated by your message, but it makes me wonder just how much I do love God if I'm not even willing to follow His main command. I mean, do I really want God to move through my life? Or, is it I just want Him to make me feel good while I go about living my life the way I want to?”

“Its easy to believe in Jesus when all He is to you is a Genie in a bottle. But, when He actually confronts you and commands something of you, somehow you begin to doubt His existence. Well, I do anyway.”

I felt quite honoured to be asked to speak there. But mostly it just weirded me out. Like I’ve done the whole preaching thing before and that’s fine, but watching people write things down that I was saying, ha that just seems stupid! I find that when I speak all (ok some of) my fears and issues seem to boil to the surface, but to those that were there I hope and pray that something in it encouraged you to move forward toward Jesus.

Ah the pain...

2007-04-27T16:40:00.000+10:00

I have been aching to carve out some time to write some stuff, not just on the blog but in general I feel the need to journal. I've been trapped however in work at the moment, and chay the scummer doesn't leave much time to stop either. But I have to tell you... I now take my hat off to parents (mostly) they have done it tough.
I feel for the kids of the world who are brought into it and told that they are only worth $6000.
So maybe I'll post/journal something tonight if time permits...

Restoring the Balance

2007-04-12T14:19:00.000+10:00

This is an excerpt from “Restoring the Balance” radio show on Sunday nights on Triple J. (This article is to be read sarcastically)

“We don’t just sit and sing and talk about Easter, we also re-enact the life of Jesus in a stage show, it’s got everything, it’s got drama, and in particular we change the scene where Jesus threw the money lenders out of the temple. And instead turns the temple into one of the largest auditoriums in the area, and then he purchases surrounding acreage, builds a school next to the temple, café’s, gyms, boutique TV studios and all with state of the art audio visual equipment as well. That is a little twist that we give to the story, but it does remain truthful to the text, or even the broad narrative thrust of the story of Easter.”
It can be heard here:
http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/restoringthebalance/audio.htm
The live feed dating 8/4/07 (this particular section is about 5 min in roughly.

I think this is 1: funny, as it strokes my cynical side, but 2: Really disgusting, not because they are having a shot at the church, but because everyone else seems to be able to see the seemingly obvious distance between the story of Jesus and a lot of what the Church seems to champion. Is the Church that blind that it cannot see?

There have been some good blog article going around this past week (or 2) and I would encourage you to read these full article if you haven’t seen them already.

Tim from A foot in both places made this statement:

“I feel sad when I see articles like this. I see the institutional church playing as if it still sits at the centre of society and culture. The sooner it realises that things have changed and starts behaving that way the healthier it and the relationship between Christianity and our society will be.”

Dan from Poser or Prophet made this one:

“Therefore, the crisis that we face is not only one of imagination, it is also one of willing. Christians in the West have become far too comfortable within the structures of capitalism (after all, the wolf prefers to eat people overseas and not the wonderful people in my neighbourhood -- or so it seems) and, consequently, have imaginations that have run dry. We will begin to be able to imagine economic alternatives to capitalism when we begin to embody economic alternatives to capitalism. And it is one of those alternatives that I hope to begin to describe in my next post.”

Allan Hirsch brought up this quote from Jacques Ellul:

“No doubt some will reply that God is not a God of disorder, incoherence, or arbitrariness, but a God of order. Of course he is. Unfortunately the whole of the Old Testament shows us that God’s order is not that which we conceive and desire. God’s order is not organization and institution (cf. the difference between judges and kings). It is not the same in every time and place. It is not a matter of repetition and habit. On the contrary, it resides in the fact that it constantly posits something new, a new beginning. Our God is a God of beginnings. There is in him no redundancy or circularity. Thus, if his church wants to be faithful to his revelation, it will be completely mobile, fluid, renascent, bubbling, creative, inventive, adventurous, and imaginative. It will never be perennial, and can never be organized or institutionalized. If the gates of death are not going to prevail against it, this is not because it is a good, solid, well organized fortress, but because it is alive; it is Life that is, as mobile, changing, and surprising as life. If it becomes a powerful fortified organization, it is because death has prevailed.” — Jacques Ellul, The Subversion of Christianity

These three in particular speak of the very issue that the church faces. I think personally something has been lost; I remember a story I heard CB Samuels tell about an Indian friend of his that went to the U.S. to study the church, and on his returning, the group that sent him said;
“Well, tell us what you learnt.”
His response was something of the sort.
“It’s amazing how much they get done without the Holy Spirit.”

I wonder if we gave God the space he wants to speak through us through word and deed, what it our picture of church would look like. I hope and pray that I would have the rocks to stand up under the example of the resurrection and say, I refuse to settle for anything less than the kingdom. I refuse to compromise, consolidate or compartmentalise, God’s message is for the world, and I will be a spokes person and take it back to where it belongs, in the hands, hearts and imaginations of ordinary people.

In the words of blind Bartimaeus; “Jesus son of David have mercy on me.” I wish I had the gumption of this man. That even before receiving his sight, he throws off anything that he previously hoped in, he threw aside his cloak which probably had his money on it, and he threw aside his family and personal desires of using his new eyes. Then when Jesus said, “Go on your way”, there is only one way left, and said himself, I have found the most beautiful pearl, this worth me selling everything I have, and following Jesus.

I wish I had the gumption or courage to do the same.

A poem for the day

2007-04-02T15:44:00.000+10:00

Hmmm… no title fits… seems fitting

Fear and uncertainty are two funny things
Two things that I’m not sure I can over come.
Do I act?
Do I pretend it doesn’t exist?
Boiling away underneath, down played by assumed confidence

Are others like me? Hearts agape because of pain
Unsure of safe harbours
Or am I alone on this journey?
Where is God’s dream on this road?
Or is this it?

Too many questions leave me at square one
Too many answers create assumed confidence.
Too many fears to make the next step
Too much uncertainty to know what is next

I hope, a little; I wish it were a lot. A little will do.

Woo Hoo a little baby!!!

2007-03-29T08:37:00.000+10:00

I'll put the minute by minute story on here another day ;) (cause I know you all want to hear it.) Main this is Mel did a heaps good job, she's doing really well, Chay is doing wicked, he was feeding alright last night when I left.
So here's to the future.
:)

Plagiarism.

2007-03-21T15:48:00.000+11:00

Ah I've been lifting things from others blogs again. Sorry to whoever I stole this from, (I can't even remember your name!!!) But I felt it something worth sharing.

“God would have us know that we must live as men who manage our lives without him. The God who is with us is the God who forsakes us (Mark 15:34). The God who lets us live in the world without the working hypothesis of God is the God before whom we stand continually. Before God and with God we live without God. God lets himself be pushed out of the world on to the cross. He is weak and powerless in the world, and that is precisely the way, the only way, in which he is with us and helps us. Matt 8:17 makes it quite clear that Christ helps us, not by virtue of his omnipotence, but by virtue of his weakness and suffering.”
("Letter to Eberhard Bethge", 16 July 1944, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison, pp.360-361

The God that is my God is crazy. I don't know how to make sense of him. Just when I think I've got it kind of figured out he's out of my box and gone, and I'm left holding a box thinking I've got God in it. Maybe thats how we often get so lost?... I looked at the stars last night and thought wow, I think the night sky is a bit like God, it's just too big to figure out and order and count, then I read Supermarket Monkeys latest addition and thought wow God is like those flowers you see growing in crazy places, then I read this quote and think wow, I'm back to square one with my understanding. It's kinda nice actually, slightly frustrating, but thats ok. It's nice to be confused.

Dollars

2007-03-20T10:49:00.000+11:00

I was trying to find something to make me laugh this morning, so I thought I’d check out the brick testament. I know it’s nothing amazing, or profoundly biblical but at least funny. Here are my two favourite pictures from two different stories today

Stephen

Can you get a camel through the eye of a needle?

I have been chatting with a mate lately about the way Launceston City Council (I only highlight them because I see the result of their choices) and Launceston Churches alike spend their dollars.

Three things in the last month:
- Public Art work: $100 000 (I like art as much as the next person and appreciate that it is a good thing to invest money in, but I think that we have more pressing issues to face.)
- A proposed prayer Tower: (cost unknown but she’s not going to be cheap: I estimate $200 000
- Jesus, All About Life Ad campaign: $250 000

Now I know that each of these comes with a reason and a hope. I pray that I’m wrong and that the last two are a blessing to people.
However I don’t seem to link how any of these things are helping the drastically high rate of suicide, or the amount of people waiting for a house, or the increased rates of youth detention rates, or the downsizing of the public sector, or the increase of mental health issues.
What frustrates me about the council is that they know the issues, yet seemingly do nothing. (For instance the state Government promised a small $400 000 (I think, correct me if I’m wrong) for Public Housing and instead decided that the money would be better off being spent on the naming rights for the Hawks AFL team).
I would not imagine that keeping a community afloat that has many different people and sub-cultures within it an easy feat; but (it may just be me) the $’s seem to be spent on things that will only protect/enhance the lives of the wealthy.

Now on a similar vein to the Council the Launceston; Christian Community (Generally speaking) seem only interested in the enhancement of their own names/churches.
I stole this from Supermarket Monkey, who stole it from Jon, but I thought it would be worth adding to the mix again.

"When the Church takes on and espouses the values of the mainstream culture it loses its ability to be the bearer of Good News. All it can then become is the “bearer of Good Advice” (Frances McNutt)."

For too long I think that the Church has been just the bearer of Good Advice.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau, said that:

“A true follower of Jesus wouldn’t make a good citizen!”

At the time, this landed Jean in hot water. I wonder what it means for us as disciples of Jesus. I don’t want to sanitise him, or confuse him with our culture.

Now on a personal note I wonder about the path that Jesus expects us to walk. On Sunday night at our team meeting, I made a comment about wanting to learn what it means to give others all that I have, and trust Jesus in the giving. Like Jesus asked of us. Not thinking too much of it, I get a phone call last night by a friend that I’ve only recently met asking if I could go guarantor for him so that he and his partner and 3 month old son can move into their own house. Mel and I were the last straw and he had to let the real estate know by the next day otherwise they would miss out. We spent a good whack of time talking and praying about what to do. (almost) Everything in us said that is a stupid investment, you could lose precious $’s you are not rich yourself, what if it falls apart… I thank God for a woman like Mel in my life that can help me connect with God and his will, instead of being a victim to the ‘sensible thing to do’. It turned out that someone else actually came to the party and went guarantor for him; but I wonder about how many things start out with the best intentions like my comment, but when the rubber hits the road, everything gets skewed. I wonder if it is about the fear of losing everything invested. I don’t know I’m just thinking out loud now, I’ll leave this behemoth here… Maybe I’m too cynical.

I would love to hear thoughts, on the above.

Yusuke

2007-03-13T21:58:00.000+11:00

Bro if/when you read this I just want to say thanks man. You will be missed mate. Thanks for all the laughs, it was so great to meet you dude, and to share life for the last 7 months. The pleasure was all ours.
I hope the rest of the journey winds on man, and that you can find hope and God everywhere you look.
Oh hope you enjoy the Aussie Hip Hop.
Josh, Mel and all the other boys/Jessie.

The last 'last one'... (prepare for the next! ha)

2007-03-08T14:33:00.000+11:00

No stuffing around, I'm going to rip straight into it. (these are my thoughts from the long list of comments)

On the JAAL web site I saw this quote “We need to engage with our culture” I could not agree more. I wonder though which culture we are engaging with when we put on an ad campaign. I also wonder if that is the best way to engage a culture. What about all the sub-cultures? Yes, it is possibly an effective way to get a message out, but I think in our media savvy culture, people come to expect 'fine print' from anything. In addition, (unfortunately) all an ad can present is often a watered done glimpse, possibly why people expect fine print because it’s just about raising some level of excitement/need.

Positives:
It's a great way to give a general wide spread coverage.
Negatives:
The content is often regarded as having 'strings attached'.
The content can often be watered down, just to fit in the choice cuts.
(Does anyone else feel like it is time we start something like a Christian style of GABBA? Because it seems to me that too often, people talk about the crazy provision of God when he just gives good things, but it stops there, few people talk about the God who my prefer us to follow him into poverty to preach his message. It sounds like classic compulsive behaviour to me; we only discuss God when he ‘pays out’. If you think I am wrong then question why the prayer of Jabez (1 Chronicles 4:10) (and similar things) are so heavily pushed, come to God the big pokey machine in the sky, and he will make everything alright.) However, that is a complete side.

I would like to see initiatives that instead of sucking people into our self appointed sacred spaces; actually encourage people getting a little dirty while actively engaging in our culture/sub-cultures, and becoming part of the fabric of that particular culture. Rather than just making more visual noise.

Also another comment and the last I plan to pull directly from the JAAL** website. **(this is intended to just be a general laugh at ourselves, but has anyone else noticed that if a program, church or otherwise has a name, it has to somehow involve an acronym?)
“The statistics from the Australian census has shown that the Christian church is losing membership and is in danger of "slipping off the landscape". As well‚ recent National Church Life Survey (NCLS) results indicate that while in some areas the church is growing‚ in others it is stagnant and aging.

The church has lost numbers‚ influence and presence.”

I worry about statements like the above, just because I’m not sure what the concern is. The ad campaign and the above ‘reason’ for the ad campaign seem to contradict each other. Is it that the Christian Church has lost it’s place within society and that is what we need to re-advertise because the church is the key element in society? Alternatively, is it that Jesus is in danger of slipping off the road map?
I know what the above statement intends. However, it is worrying to me when the church and Jesus are regarded as synonymous. For to long the Church has taken Jesus’ message and taken choice cuts, and turned God into the God of the Jabez prayer, rich business men, and arrogant egotistical people interested in only their own little perfect worlds. Maybe I have gone to far, maybe I haven’t.

And again thanks Martin for having the rocks to try something. I may point out things that do not sit with me (I do not want you to feel like the finger is on you); but regardless of my criticisms, thankyou. Not because I agree, but because you are trying, you are standing by your creation, and you make this discussion have some depth (for lack of a better word). Maybe soon you can do the same to me, and help flesh out some of my blind spots. Thanks for being gracious.
cheers

Possible conclusions: Different to what I first thought.

2007-03-06T10:30:00.000+11:00

Here is my dilemma? I have not made my mind up about this "Jesus, All about life." stuff, (I have my inclinations, and I would love to keep asking questions, and stirring the water) but I’m at a point where I almost don’t care anymore. I do not know which is worse; to be apathetic towards it, or to be either for or against.
It is something that zaps my energy; it has made me angry, confused and tired.
I think that it is something that I may continue to think about and debate. I may not ever agree or back it; but here is my conclusion; until it pisses me off again I am going to leave it alone.
I hope for the sake of the dollars being syphoned into the event that God will be glorified. I hope that who ever is organising the event has clear motives and agendas, because more than anything else these will be the only things standing at the end of it all. Like statues constantly reminding them of the day. If the intentions are to put the “Christian Church back on the map” (ie put bums on seats, and to put money back into church budgets, and pastors pockets) and not to put Jesus’ crazy message back on the social map; then God help them.
However, I also will not be the first to throw stones. I honestly hope and pray that people will come to faith through the process, and I hope and pray that people who come to faith will follow Jesus very closely, and follow him out of the nice safe fold into the wide-open world.

So here, I am at the crossroads. I know what I’m against (I think) but that’s easy. I have poured a lot of energy into the things that I am against; and as I stand at the crossroads, I am not sure what I am actually for, the only thing that I do know is that when I first said 'Jesus is Lord' it meant a lot less than what it does now.

In closing, I want to add some quotes from Henri Nouwens’ book “Reaching Out”

“Unless our questions and problems and concerns are tested and matured in solitude it is not realistic to expect answers that are really our own.”

Pre-occupations are our fearful ways of keeping things the same.

“’You think and talk too much; you must stop talking to yourself’… We maintain our world by inner talk. We talk to ourselves until everything is as it should be.”

So heres to a new journey. Heres to discovering what it is that I am for, heres to a Gracious God who allows us to journey.

Another thought...

2007-03-01T14:55:00.000+11:00

After reading this article on the Servants to Asia's urban poor, again made me think deeply on my last post. I think there are many truthful words from both sides of the gun, but the durry is still out for me on the "Jesus. All about life" thing. I have the offer of talking more with Judy (who seems lovely and well meaning and an offer, which I intend to take her up on.)
I guess another question for me in light from the above article is this:
Should I base my stance on the topic simply on the fact that other pastors see it as a positive thing? Is it possible to think that there is an agenda attached? As a side comment the "family first" political party take a 'Christian' stand on things, and I am not brave enough to trust them with my vote, or even to speak fairly for ALL Christians.

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am on the wrong track, but I am sure as hell not just going to bow down and let others (who may be right) make up my mind. I do not want to pretty Jesus up and make his words nice, because frankly, they are words that if looked at honestly are going to cost. Yes, even Jesus said that in him, life will be found, but not the life that we average Joes imagines.

More thoughts, someone help me understand.

Some Questons About Compromise

2007-02-25T22:37:00.000+11:00

Recently Mel and I watched the movie "The Wind that Shakes the Barley." (I am going to tell the crux of the story and appolgise for those who may not have seen it! but I assure you that for the sake of my thoughts it is needed.) The movie was about the Irish standing up against the British ownership of Ireland and the start of the Revolutionary push against the system that they were forced to live under. They wanted freedom etc from the oppression of the British and the ability to set up their own laws, languages and political systems (plus all the rest that comes with being your own country). The movie followed the story of one man and the little arm of this movement which he formed. The British offered a compromise to the Irish who stood opposed, and with this compromise the strength of the team was split. Some saw the offer as a massive step to win the war and others saw it simply as a compromise which stood counter to all they had fought for. These ones refused whole heartedly, continued to fight for complete freedom (not just changed uniforms!) and refused to the point of death.

In the west I think a major part of our fight as followers of Jesus is a fight against consumerism. This is the prevailing religion of our culture. The comfort, enjoyment, security and safety of life based on things that can be bought or sold. In seeking to draw people to Christ, can we use the "hook" of a consumerism based motivation to cause them to seek Him?

My questions are:
a) Should we advertise Jesus as a product to be pursued for what He can do for us?
b) Can we tap into the idol of consumerism to "sell" Jesus?
c) Would Jesus choose beautiful people, or powerful people,
or those who have life "all together" to advertise the life HE offered?
d) Would doing any of the above be counter to the transformational dream of God?

I don't know very much about the "Jesus. All about life" campaign, I've read the official web site and heard stories about it's possible goodness and potential.

My fear is that in using the advertising and selling methods of our culture we could be selling out and accepting a compromise. However I also know that we're called to be shrewd and use every opportunity to communicate truth. So should we use any tools possible as an attempt to further the Kingdom of God?

If anyone can shed some light on this tell me something about it, critique my thinking.

Just a final note, this was mels first ever shared experience of blogging, shared; meaning it was a joint event. So here's to a possible unleashing.

back on the horse

2007-02-19T09:16:00.000+11:00

First day back at work, I have so much to catch up on it's not funny, and that's just with catching up on reading other blog entries. So this is going to be short. I was thinking about a comment that Grub left on my last entry and it reminded me of a line from the movie, "The Wind that Shakes the Barley" If you haven't seen it check it out it's worth a watch. Anyhow, the line from it was:
"It's far easier to know what your against, than to know what you are for."

Holding onto truth when your world is crumbling isn't something that I know, but I'm sure that one day I will know.

Journeys

2007-02-05T19:28:00.000+11:00

Just some thoughts while on the road today, while we travel around New Zealand (It’s a beautiful country). Anyhow I’ll start with a bitch…
I don’t know how many other people have found this, but travel brochures turn everything into a must see, then you actually get there, and you aren’t sure why you wasted the money to go see it, anyhow just another reason why I’m a terrible tourist.

I have been thinking today about the way our society puts such strong emphasis on arriving: ie.
- Get your license/ car
- Get a diploma/apprenticeship
- Get a good job
- Travel
- Meet someone, marry/ move in
- Get your own house/new car/ boat/ Motor bike, the more the better
- Reproduce
- Retire etc

But to it’s loss there is no push (or very little) on knowing yourself. For many the push of gaining stuff is so strong that having an understanding of yourself is almost considered one and the same. That once you have ‘arrived’ then that also must equal knowing yourself.
However knowing yourself goes far beyond knowing what you like for breakfast and what makes you laugh/cry, rather it is an exploration of the very depths of oneself. Henri Nouwen talks about three basic movements in his book Reaching Out
- Loneliness to Solitude
- Hostility to Hospitality
- Petition to Prayer

Knowing yourself isn’t just an inward journey which eventually leads to an enhanced social life. It is a spiritual journey, one of truth and desire, one which spirituality flows from. A journey which seems to lead you away from home. When in actuality God is in the process of restoring everything to perfect wholeness.

Not journeying is the cancer of today.

Watching people around me that I love and others that I don’t know who are just living, (yes they are on a journey, but not one that leads to self discovery) makes me sad. Watching people who are so afraid of themselves, is like viewing a half person.
I don’t feel very far down this road of self discovery, but that’s ok. Just learning to be still is a big enough feat for me at this time.

Writing these thoughts feel almost dangerous for myself, for fear of cementing an idea and turning it from a malleable collection of thoughts into an opinion. Learning to communicate without just speaking from an opinion or an ideology isn’t something that I do very well. I hold tightly to what I think or believe and often try to out argue others. (maybe simply just to convince myself…?) Instead I feel that I need to listen, and listen well, and only add my thoughts when it is going to add something.????

Anyway there they are, please check my thinking…

cleaning up

2007-02-01T22:32:00.000+11:00

I spent a bit of time tonight cleaning out my USB stick to make some space for some pics. I was cleaning out some various crap and re-found this. I don't know where I got it from, but my goodness I like it. I think it really takes a good honest look at Christianity. It asks a lot of me. I thought I would share it anyhow.

What is the task of the church today?
Shall I answer: “Faith, hope and love”?
That sounds beautiful.
But I would say — Courage.
No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth.
Our task today is recklessness.
For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature,
We lack a holy rage.
The recklessness that comes from the knowledge of God and humanity.
The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets . .
and when the lie rages across the face of the earth –
a holy anger about things that are wrong in the world.
To rage against the ravaging of God’s earth,
and the destruction of God’s world.
To rage when little children must die of hunger,
when the tables of the rich are sagging with food.
To rage at senseless killing of so many,
and against the madness of the militaries.
To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction — peace.
To rage against complacency.
To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change
human history until it conforms with the norms of the kingdom of God.
And remember the signs of the Christian church have always been –
the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove and the Fish –
but never the chameleon. Kaj Munk

Cave of the Yellow Dog

2007-01-23T08:57:00.000+11:00

Mel and I and others watched Cave of the Yellow Dog last night. I have never been so scared in my life! during the whole movie my mind was racing and my whole body was tight with anxiety. The movie was a really nice movie about a Mongolian family, however since it wasn't a Hollywood blockbuster, there weren't special effects tarting it up or a twisted killer that abducted small children while looking after the sheep. Hollywood plots are so much a part of me. In the wise words of Garth (Wayne's World. "It's sucking my will to live!") It has taken over my thinking!!!!

Now I just want to re-frame the sentence about it being scary. The movie itself wasn't scary, but I was continually scared, because for most of the movie I was trying to twist in a murder scene etc, and the beautiful simplicity of this young family was going to be destroyed. However I was wrong.
So in closing. If you haven't seen the movie, watch it; it was great to watch a movie about life.

just some thoughts...

2007-01-18T10:31:00.000+11:00

Some of the young people I meet seemingly have nothing going for them, but have something within them that knows of life and Jesus that I don’t think I know. There is a Holy place within them. I think. Sometimes I don’t know if I can see it, but other times when they are telling me their story, I feel like I’m on Holy Ground. I don’t ever know what to do with their stories. I never feel like the answers are there for me to pull out. (Maybe that’s good) All I can ever do is listen.
Pictures like this: (thanks Banksy)

Speak 1000 words to me. Words of loss, of hopelessness, but of reality.

I met a man the other day, his name was Richard, he is my friend. He lives in a park. Richard was a man who had a speech impediment, which made him very difficult to understand. Richard said many people pass him on the street and ask him if he is ok. He said that they never really stop to hear or understand his answer.
The part of Richard that I saw was that of a saint. I know that I do not know Richard or what he is capable of, I don’t know what he’s done, but that’s ok. To me Richard is still a saint.

What am I supposed to do if someone tells me about my friend Richard? What do I do if I learn about Richard’s past? What happens to the Richard I saw, Richard the saint?

My friend Daniel sings a song called John Lennon. (His web site is linked to the blog under Mr T)

Daniel Townsend:
“My preacher still teaches that Jesus can be only be found with eyes closed while you pray.
That’s ok for him to say, but I drove through the city today and I saw Jesus begging for change. Out in the rain.”

In the Words of another friend:
You’ve heard it before to love your neighbour and then to hate your enemy. But I say love your enemies! If you only love those who love you, what’s the good of that? Even sinners do that. Instead, I want you to be perfect like your Farther in heaven is perfect.Jesus

The risk of living and giving all that I am for the kingdom is so massive, and I don’t know if have taken it into full account. Often I feel like the young lawyer. I've got all the best intentions, but the call of safety and security don't measure up with the possible losses that I could face.

I’m so scared.

Banksy...

2007-01-08T13:31:00.000+11:00

I somehow stumbled upon this guys site, interesting pictures, also an interesting read. Thought I'd share it, (this is straight from his site, so if you check it out you will see this, I guess it's plagurism, hmm... oh well, no offence intended:

An extract from the diary of Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin DSO who was
among the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen in 1945.

Camp
I can give no adequate description of the Horror Camp in which my men and myself were to spend the next month of our lives. It was just a barren wilderness, as bare as a chicken run. Corpses lay everywhere, some in huge piles, sometimes they lay singly or in pairs where they had fallen. It took a little time to get used to seeing men women and children collapse as you walked by them and to restrain oneself from going to their assistance. One had to get used early to the idea that the individual just did not count. One knew that five hundred a day were dying and that five hundred a day were going on dying for weeks before anything we could do would have the slightest effect. It was, however, not easy to watch a child choking to death from diptheria when you knew a tracheotomy and nursing would save it, one saw women drowning in their own vomit because they were too weak to turn over, and men eating worms as they clutched a half loaf of bread purely because they had to eat worms to live and now could scarcely tell the difference. Piles of corpses, naked and obscene, with a woman too weak to stand proping herself against them as she cooked the food we had given her over an open fire; men and women crouching down just anywhere in the open relieving themselves of the dysentary which was scouring their bowels, a woman standing stark naked washing herself with some issue soap in water from a tank in which the remains of a child floated. It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don't know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tatooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.

Source: Imperial War museum

etchings of my day...

2007-01-03T15:38:00.000+11:00

Nothing amazing, nothing concreted, just thoughts mixed with feelings about my head space at work.
My desk
19 folders, 19 separate numbers sitting upon my desk.
19 lives, all moving in spaces of their own.
Homelessness, methadone, trauma, depression, guilt
All labels attached to names
19 lives just sitting here, but living… somewhere.

Can I care for 19? Can I care for 1?
Is there space in my life for 19 new stories?
Pain, guilt and loss
What do I do with 19 folders/ stories/ people?
Can I lock them again in my draw tonight, without second thought?
Can I lock them away to silence them?
Can I move into a little space of my own and forget the significance of their story?
Should I?...

I think we have a problem...

2006-12-14T11:07:00.000+11:00

I have a great concern when I read news articles like this one:
"Federal regulators announced Wednesday that additional warnings about suicide risks associated with antidepressant drugs are needed. But the proposed label changes wouldn't apply to the majority of patients who take the mood-altering drugs."
As a youth worker, and at least half of all the young people I work with taking some type of anti-depressant or the like without first being told that this isn't a miracle drug is a real concern.
It concerns me that health systems are often overly reactive looking just at the outcome, which in this case is depression. People are not told that antidepressants will not fix everything; the fact that a person was raped or physically/emotionally abused as a child does not seem to impact on anything.

Then to hear that antidepressants are a major link to suicide and that they should carry warnings...

If this is a concern to you, then I plead with you, pray, and don't just pray, act; I think as Christians and people seeking truth it is a worthy cause to champion; people need community. Community, where it is safe to be broken, and then to grow.

Another concern but one I'll only comment on is the title of the newspaper article
"FDA warnings won't hurt antidepressants"
That all that is the real concern is that the ass end may fall out of the business.

It's ok...

2006-12-11T14:11:00.000+11:00

I read this today on the Servants of Asia web site. Again another challenge.
This previous month for me has been one of discovery. For the first time in a long time, I have been in a place of having the chance to hear my Spirit and to hear God.
Knowing how to remain in this place is so difficult. Having the will to want to stay there seems impossible. Even in the moment, it seems like such a weak connection, one hijacked by ‘drivenness’, pride and ego.
Ben Pangas said to me last night:
"We prefer the illusion of control than the uncertainty of relationship."
The more I discover myself, the more I can see clearly how driven I am, and how much of that drivenness I put into protecting and enhancing my self image/projection. It’s when I do that, that I drive God's Spirit in me deeper again.

Trusting God with myself isn't something that I do well. It's something I want to do. Trusting God isn't something I do well, but something I'm learning to do.

A couple of good reads about consumerism + an invite

2006-12-04T09:46:00.000+11:00

Just thought I'd add a couple of really top thought provocing reads, one of them is here (thanks to urban monk for this one) and the other is here. I thought I would also extend an invite to all local readers to a TEAR evening in Launceston. Details of the event are as follows:

The Christmas Juggernaut is rumbling towards us but I reckon we can fit in one more TEAR meeting before it arrives.
You are most welcome to join us at the SU HQ (upstairs from the Pilgrim Uniting Church Office) at 34 Paterson St on Wednesday 13th at 7pm. If you haven't been to a meeting yet don't worry they have been pretty randomly sprinkled through the calnedar.

On Wednesday, we'll be finding creative ways to swerve around the Consumer-fest of Christmas and to embrace the simplicity and surprise of Jesus' birth. Please let me know if you can come.
(none of the above italics are my words so if you have any questions ring the Launceston TEAR office.)

reading and general thoughts

2006-12-01T10:29:00.000+11:00

I've been getting stuck into Ash Barkers latest book 'Surrender All - A call to sub-merge with Christ'
I have found it a book that really rattles my cage. I wanted to share a small part out of it that I read last night.

“Anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski claims there is a difference between magic and true religion. Magic attempts to manipulate spiritual forces so that the supplicant can get what the supplicant wants. But true religion is about surrendering to God so that God can do through the supplicant what God wants. The rich young ruler will not surrender all to Jesus and his lack of obedience is evidence that he is more about magic than true faith."

This statement reminded me of something that I heard Steve Said say once. Generally speaking, as Christians we don't have a theology but rather a mythology.

I don't have conclusions or answers or opinions, I'll just leave it out there...

Rabbits for sale and New Friends

2006-11-30T10:00:00.000+11:00

Yesterday morning Mel opened the door to a young woman and her 8-year-old son from across the road, with eyes wet from tears asking Mel if she had seen any dogs go into her yard. As it turned out while at school with her son for the recess period some dogs had broken into their rabbit hutch, killed, and eaten his rabbits.

I feel honoured that God would bring simple opportunities to connect with broken people around us. The hurts in this young single mother’s life do not start and end with dead rabbits, but our friendship with this family started with dead rabbits.

On my way through town yesterday morning long before I got the msg from Mel about the above story, I noticed a small sign amongst all the others, with delicate handwriting stating Rabbits for Sale.

That night after a meal together and many cuddles, a rabbit was chosen and named: Cutie Pie. Ours is called Kevin but that’s another story.

I know God is advancing his kingdom. I wonder how much of that advancement is done through might and power, and how much is done through little acts like buying a rabbit for a brokenhearted little boy and his mum. I also wonder how many little opportunities I miss everyday, while I'm busy looking for that single massive event, that is going to see mass conversions etc, and I can ride the wave of success all the way to the shore, tell the story of when I changed the world and all that other B.S. that comes with my ego.

"Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty."
Zechariah 4:1-6

(I'll get a picture up on flickr later of Cutie Pie and his proud owner, oh and Kevin)

forge info session... SPREAD THE WORD

2006-11-21T11:09:00.000+11:00

If you’re interested in learning more about Forge Mission Training here’s two ways to find out more

We will be hosting our final intern & coach gathering in Punchbowl Dec 2, 1pm-4pm. You’re more than welcome to come along and observe the graduation at 3pm

We will have an open info session from 4.15pm-5pm @ Punchbowl Christian Centre 100 Punchbowl Rd

Violence against myself

2006-11-20T09:35:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with some mates who are caught up in someway or another with the juvenile justice system. Most are making ways forward out of the lifestyle, due to the risk of going to prison. It is no longer just the detention centre.
Yesterdays’ gathering was initiated by two of the guys who had hoped that we could sit together and share our faith journeys together with some of their mates. They wanted ‘church’ in some form, in their form. I know that if they can hold tight God is going to use these two.

However, in the environment within which they live, I feel completely exhausted. It isn’t something that allows for peace and rest. The reason I think that I feel this exhaustion is because of the constant barrage of anger/abuse within the group. It is something that apparently comes with the lifestyle. If don’t hold your own your nothing within the group.

Standing against that anger is not something that I find easy. Holding back my anger when I see injustices is something that I do not find easy. Let alone when someone is waving arrogance as banner right in my face. Every part of me wants to cut to size just because I know I can.

Reading this article really threatens me; only because when I read:
“The minority of Christian churches (but as far as we can ascertain, all prior to Constantine) have instead embraced non-violence – a refusal to wage war or take up arms under any circumstances. This practice is based on a plain reading of the teachings of Jesus (especially Matthew 5:1-11 and 5:38-48, and on most of Paul's teaching – especially Romans 12:9-21).”
I know that it is right. I don’t know if others feel something twinge within them when they hear something that is true, but when I read that my heart sunk again, because I know I need to check my aggression, it’s not the way of Jesus.

Oh to be more like him…

first ultra sound

2006-10-31T19:47:00.000+11:00

We had our first ultra sound the other day. Man what a creator God is. I was spun out my the intricacies. What a beautiful feeling. It still feels a little crazy thinking about being a dad. wow

Questions, Ponderings and various stuff.

2006-10-20T13:38:00.000+11:00

World War 1 was fought to make the world safe for democracy. World War 2 was fought for ourselves and our allies. Is this new breed of war being fought simply to make the world safer for consumption? Jane Holtz Kay

A little poem about lots.

Hold still little one while I paint you in brands.
No thought needs to go into where or at what cost.
The only cost worth considering is your own.
Your personal economic loss is far more important than another life.
And the freedom found in conforming to patterns and trends.

Was that freedom of choice you said?
I’m sorry I missed it, for some reason I thought you said compliance

In Launceston; no sorry Tasmania in general there is a huge push from Gunns (if your not sure who they are just Google them) to build a pulp mill close to Launceston pumping it’s effluent the Tamar River. On the other side of the coin there is also a large push from various public groups to attempt to stop this getting passed through Government.

I have always placed myself on the opposing party seeing it as something that will have a massive negative impact upon the local environment. However a couple of weekends ago while Ben and I were statueing in Launceston a conversation was started with another statue (haha just because I’ve got no friends and am limited to talking to statues!) about the pulp mill; his thoughts were as follow:

We should let the pulp mill be built, not because it is a positive move for the Tasmanian environment, but because we should be aware of the impact our consumption is having upon the environment.

As it stands we are happy to consume 1st grade paper etc at the expense of the Indonesian and the Chinese environments. We get to blindly consume copious amounts without having to deal with the social and environmental implications our consumption brings.(this does not just stop with paper)

I still don’t want to see the mill go ahead, but I think he has made a fair comment that needs consideration, probably not so much for the yes or no of the building of the pulp mill but of how we choose to live.

I went to hear Jim Ife last night speaking on poverty and the likes in Launceston. His lecture can be found HERE:

If social justice and poverty are of interest to you, definately check it out.
He finished with a quote that has stayed with me:

“Vaclav Havel so eloquently put it, in one of my favourite quotes, “We must not be ashamed that we are capable of love, friendship, sympathy, understanding and tolerance, but just the opposite: we must set these fundamental dimensions of our humanity free from their private exile and accept them as the only genuine starting point of meaningful human community”

Stupid dial up-internet

2006-10-16T14:19:00.000+11:00

It's been a while, our internet at home has died, and Dodo don't know why. they are trying to fix it but anyway. I'll be back on line again soon. I'm using works time at the minute. So i should do something useful.
Just wanted to put the invite out there. I know it's a bit late, but it would be well worth it.

Hey check it out for an AWESOME fight!!!

2006-10-07T01:04:00.000+11:00

Paul Briggs Vs Thomasz Adamek. It's on again. If you get the chance to see it; do. It's going to be a big one.

What a week!

2006-10-07T00:33:00.000+11:00

This week has really stretched me. I've experienced some pretty intense moments with some of the young people I've worked with this week, from having all their possessions being burnt by their mother, being released from the Juvenile detention centre, experiencing bail breaches due to parents lack of care. It's been a real challenge if anything to figure out how to deal with this. Band-aids are all I seem to have in my arsenal, or so it seems. I'm measured upon how well I cover up the issues and make them go away.
Encouraging true growth and resilience in all of this seems so impossible from where I stand. Yet if it's a mountain left un-climbed what have I helped these young people with?... I don't know. Building long term growth into anybodies life I think can't fit into a 9-5 program. It could be a stepping stone, but it is still very reserved and distant, it highlights that expert/novice relationship. (I wonder how helpful they are)

It's in weeks like these that the I find the kingdom of God so hard to take a grasp of. I wrote a poem about one of the young blokes I met this week.
When a whisper is heard as a voice
When a voice is seen as a face
When a face has a name
When a name is recognised as a person
When a person has space to laugh and cry
Something will be found in that space
Something that can't be defined
Or measured
Or added or subtracted
It just is
It's tasted, smelt, touched and seen.
It's sensed
It just is
Maybe that's the Kingdom?...

I guess knowing how to be Jesus on Earth isn't discovered in a week, or a month or year. So I'll let you know how I go with building long term growth into peoples lives.

forge intensives

2006-09-27T09:35:00.000+10:00

just thought i'd put out the flier to anyone interested. This will be worth attending. I know it's in Melbourne for all you tasmanians, but the air fairs are cheapish these days. anyway here you go.

Worth a Watch

2006-09-27T08:46:00.000+10:00

If your going to the movies, Nacho Libre is worth a watch. I've never been a huge jack black fan, but this ones pretty good.

2006-09-23T12:23:00.000+10:00

We celebrated my 22nd and Ben's 26th birthday last night. Again I was quietly surprised by something of the kingdom of God found amongst friends while enjoying food and each other.
During the meal as a part of saying 'grace' we ask each other where we've seen God during the past week.
Josh my friend and I got talking about this. We talked about community, family and friendships. Out of this came a discussion as to what the Kingdom is. We got cut off.
I would love to hear thoughts about it.
- What is the Kingdom of God?
- What does it look like, feel like, taste like, sound like?
- When have you seen it in the past week/month?

Please share with me Josh, Grubb, Kegs, Mark, Pangas, and anyone else. Share your thoughts

Busking

2006-09-21T11:19:00.000+10:00

Ah it's been a while coming, but we are finally going busking again. It's probably been 6 months since I did it last. Ben and I are going on Saturday. So head on down to the Launceston Mall some time around 12 and bring your shrapnel, and freely give to the "Josh and Ben society". Where your loose change is all saved up and spent on stuff. (necessary stuff)

When the shore was the edge

2006-09-19T15:32:00.000+10:00

When the shore was the edge,
I wasn’t maddened by advertising sexuality to 6 year olds
I wasn’t surrounded by ways to sell myself.
I wasn’t driven by consumption.
Band-aids weren’t all I saw.

But now I stop to see that these shores I’ve never seen.
The coast keeps changing, sands keep shifting.
New was old. Which is worse?

In all of this how do I live?
Where is your face in the scenes of this shifting window?
How do I live?
Again I’m ship wrecked by indecision.

re-creating

2006-09-11T12:11:00.000+10:00

Re-creating is a strange thing. I have spent most of this working day so far not working ironically. However I have spent some time flicking through various web pages, blogs and the like, I guess almost trying to figure out what it is that I (Josh) am about (also dismally failing). I struggle with being so diplomatic that I bend to everyone's wishes and in that seem to lose sight of what is really going on.(that's another story)

The weekend just gone was really encouraging.
Saturday was spent at a wedding, for the marriage of some good friends of ours. On Sunday a few of us had a meal, shared a bottle of wine, and reminded each other of what it is that Jesus did for us.
Also within the mix of various conversations, we discussed visions, goals, hopes etc. Within that conversation friends of ours made the plunge to initiate again another community of faith within their context in Launceston. It was exciting to see faces light up, smiles develop and dreams form within minds.

This morning however amongst all the web pages that I read about different people, communities and social justice movements. I found myself sinking to new lows, through comparing myself with others and comparing their ways with our ways.

I came to this realisation that:
Comparisons are the tools of those who are afraid to create.Josh

As we work at forming this little community and our own spiritual journeys, we need to ensure that we are following Gods ways. That we aren't just following the paths of those set before us. They were paths formed within different cultures and different people. We need consider them and review them, but we can't ever compare and then re-create. We need to create new ways.
We are to be reforming people, not reformed people

for some further background...

2006-09-06T19:01:00.000+10:00

I'm getting really involved in this blog thing, it's been like 2 hours since the birthing and here I am... well I'm just caught in making it "ours" I'm figuring out all this geek Html crap and feeling really happy with myself. So happy in fact that I just can't seem to stop. Anyhow this is a picture of our wedding in June in Launcestons city park. Just to put faces to our names.
Ok this is it for a while.

Well, Well, Well

2006-09-06T16:16:00.000+10:00

This is a funny place to find myself in, I've been converted to the way of the blog. In the past I've given my feelings regarding the blog quite openly. It's been a long journey, but here I am with my own. I realise this is only the first, I've got big plans for the future of this humble little blog (not for world dominance) but maybe it will continue on into the distant future...
So keep tracking with me, tell your friends and give me advice and feedback.
Stay tuned for updates on our little community in Rocherlea, for pics and poems, and ponderings.
Haha gee's I've set myself up for a big fall.
Maybe I should just say, why don't you check again and see if I've added anything else. Ha